Miserable twat waiting for minor celeb to die on New Year’s Day so he can write 2017 off

A miserable twat can’t wait until the first celebrity dies on New Year’s Day so they can write off 2017, and blame their miserable nature on the curse of 2017.

David Stevenson, 54, from Scunthorpe, said: “I quite enjoyed 2016, by that I mean I hated it all, but I blamed it on Prince, Bowie, Leonard Cohen and dying.

“2015 was really tough for me, but I blamed it on Star Wars: The Force Awakens not being as good as Return of the Jedi. To be honest quite a few sic-fi people I know struggled through 2015 for the same reason.

“This New Year’s Day I’ll be scouring Twitter and the rolling news for anyone, even relatively famous, who has died. I’ll take Sue Barker, Nick Knowles or Jedward, either or both of them, to be honest; an A-lister is always nice, but it’s not essential.

“As soon as that happens, I’ll crack open a lager, and scowl for the rest of the year, 2016 is dead long live (or die) 2017!”

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