Marina Wheeler pushes for hard Jexit

Marina Wheeler is pushing for a hard Jexit following her split from Boris Johnson. 

The lawyer told reporters that “divorce means divorce” after it was confirmed the married couple of 25 years were to separate. 

She cited red tape, outside interference and a more prosperous future outside the union as the main motivation for the split, as well as a £350 outstanding debt that had caused friction between the pair. 

According to a close friend, Wheeler has no interest in pursuing a soft Jexit having been haunted by that issue for several decades. 

They said: “This will be a hard divorce and will put an end to the four freedoms Johnson has enjoyed in the union. 

“Namely the freedom to be a bad husband, the freedom to be a bad father, the freedom to be a selfish bastard and the freedom to royally screw everyone over”.

Johnson is currently penning a Telegraph piece accusing Wheeler of “going into battle waving the white flag” in response. 

He will say: “So it’s ding ding! Seconds out! And we begin the final round of that international slug fest, my marriage”. 

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