Leftie cuts off own penis for lusting after Le Pen

A 23-year-old male has been admitted to hospital after cutting off his own penis in response to becoming aroused by Marion Marechal-Le Pen.

The man, who wants to remain anonymous, said he became excited while reading about the rise (no pun in intended) of the Front National’s 25-year-old Marion Marechal-Le Pen, niece of Marine Le Pen, who is running for the FN in provincial elections.

He said: “I was getting angry that they are likely to win in Provence-alpes-Cote d’Azur, then I saw of picture of the candidate and I felt animal urges stirring within me. I know she the anthesis of all I stand for, but my body doesn’t.

“I am pro-immigration, vegan, anti-nuclear, I voted for Corbyn – and will even listen to the people who voted for Liz Kendall, but my sexual desires don’t have a political allegiance.  My groin left me with no choice, I sliced my bits off while singing the Red Flag. I guess you could say I purged the urged.

“I am not ashamed that I cut off my own genitals, but I can’t reveal my identity and let people know about my lust for Le Pen, as my Momentum Twitter group will block me.”

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