Geldoff on red alert after discovery of Amazonian tribe who might not know it’s Christmas

Bob Geldoff is set to cancel his Christmas plans to pen a new track in support of the recently discovered Amazonian tribe who, he fears, might not yet know anything about the birth of Christ.

A photographer has recently captured images of an uncontacted tribe on the Brazil/Peru border. Close friends have confirmed Geldoff is growing increasingly concerned about the world of dread and fear that he assumes they live in.

Graeme Piggott, a neighbour of Geldoff, confirmed he saw him weeping in his garden this morning “It was the first thing he said to me. I hadn’t even heard about it on the news, but he seemed to know all about how awful their lives were. He’s really compassionate and knowledgeable about these things. I’m just glad it’s them and not me to be honest”.

Geldoff has a history of success in this field after a recent study showed that around 99% of Africans now know all about Christmas. He was said to be elated further still when he read that the greatest gift they would receive in 2016 was actually a PS4.

“Can you blame the man for wanting to help” added Graeme. “If he hadn’t intervened in 1984 there’d be millions of Africans who wouldn’t know anything about mince pies, advent calendars or John Lewis adverts.”

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