TLE

Corbyn refuses to drive a car as he’s not prepared to sit on the right

Jeremy Corbyn has admitted he opts to ride a bicycle as opposed to a car because the latter would mean sitting on the right of the vehicle – something he’s morally not prepared to do.

The divisive Labour leader said: “Cycling as opposed to driving is better for the environment, and that’s a fantastic bonus, but my main concern is to quite literally avoid being on the right. A bike will allow me to do that. The driver’s seat in a UK car is obviously on the right hand side and there’s no way I’ll be anything but left.”

Pressed on the issue of what lengths he’d go to, the 66 year old explained: “I’d genuinely get foot surgery to have two left feet, but I wouldn’t want to add to the strain on the NHS. And, of course, two left feet would mean I’d walk around in a clockwise circle. Clockwise being right. No chance.”

Labour are worried that with with Corbyn at the helm, the party is so left it’ll never be right.

He added: “I can’t even turn right on my bike anymore, and staying straight in the centre is becoming increasingly difficult.”

Words – James Boughen @JamesBoughen 

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