Brexit Negotiators Learn Of Interesting European Alliance

Brexit MP David Davis has learnt of an interesting European alliance in which you pay to have access to the single market.

The fee, thought to be around £350 million a week, would allow the UK access into an innovative scheme dubbed the European Union, with the caveat that we observe the other three freedoms.

Mr Davis is thought to be tremendously upbeat about the scheme which has the potential to appease concerns over economic isolation in one fell swoop.

Speaking at a Commons event he said: “We’ve all been racking our brains for week over a potential solution for this tricky situation, until I overhead murmurings about a European Union which seems to have all the answers.

“For a small fee, which we can chisel from the NHS budget, it seems we may be able to have our cake and eat it too after all. With a few caveats.”

Mr Davis is thought to be happy about the small print, which stipulates free movement of  people must also be observed as part of the deal. His counterpart Boris Johnson is particularly encouraged after “picking up a few lovely bits of crumpet” in the Romanian capital of Bucharest.

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