After Bake off & Brangelina, human shield formed around Kendall Jenner

A 24-hour vigil has been organised to protect Kendall Jenner, from any harm, after the world reels from Bake off & Brangelina heartbreak.

Over a seven million people have offered to protect the sister of someone they have watched on a TV show. Twenty people at a time are currently working in eight hour shifts in a desperate attempt keep her away from danger.

Claire Thomas, 32 from Dewsbury said: “As soon as I saw the news, I knew I had to protect Kendall, now that Bake Off and Braxit have gone, if she went I would have nothing left. I got on the first flight to LA”

“Tragedies always come in threes and we knew that something could happen to her. All of the volunteers would all happily lay down our lives, so we can follow Kendall’s vacuous life on social media. Some things are worth dying for.

Nine-year-old Majid currently living under siege in Aleppo, said: “Too much heartache has happened in 2016. I lost my father and brother this year, but that is nothing to the pain I have felt knowing that the mad old woman and the creepy man won’t be together again, never mind Mary and Paul not being on screen anymore.”

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