2016 a bigger wanker than we first thought

2016 is officially a bigger wanker than we first expected after making another arsehole move on Christmas Day.

The full calendar year, which has been known to compare itself to the likes of 1914 and 1939, took the life of another national icon on the 25th in a blatant two fingers to the rest of the country and in clear breach of festive protocol.

It is still unclear whether this is the last dick head trick it has up its sleeve, but many people have already denounced the year for going “one step too far”.

Dr John Morgan, author of “A Difficult Year”, said: “Just when you think you know someone, they do something like that.

“Nobody is pretending 2016 was perfect, but this one was completely uncalled for.”

Morgan added that despite many first editions already been sent to print, he is considering renaming the second editions “A Twat of a Year”.

He has also briefed the government on ways to avoid another suckerpunch before the year-end.

David Attenborough and other national treasures have been transported to a secure bunker in an undisclosed location until New Years Day to be wrapped in cotton wool.

Theresa May has been advised to stay put.

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