By Charlotte Hope, Lifestyle Editor @TLE_Lifestyle
Tissue Attendant at Madame Tussauds
Terrifying wax museum, Madame Tussauds, has reportedly had to hire a ‘tissue attendant’ to be near their One Direction display, following the departure of Zayn Malik from the band. All I’m saying about that is that last week when I wrote about his absence from the tour, I predicted this very thing. Who’d have thought it would be Zayn, though? All my money was on Harry. Harry the mini Jagger. What I wouldn’t do.
Anyway, so overcome with emotion are fans of the band that they’re apparently bursting into tears at the very sight of a, let’s admit it, questionable likeness of Zayn – so much so that Tussauds have brought in heaps of tissues and a tissue attendant to stand by in case anyone thought that they could keep themselves together and neglected to bring tissues with them. Isn’t that quite something? I mean, I was pretty upset when Busted split up but I think, I knew deep down, that from those embers would rise a beautiful phoenix (see: McBusted) if I just waited patiently. So bide your time, 1D fans – you might not even have to wait that long if the rumours of Zayn’s solo career with Naughty Boy producing his music are anything to go by.
Russell Crowe is promoting a movie – the name of which escapes me – and so he’s doing the usual junkets and being interviewed left right and centre. There are old rumours that he’s a difficult little interviewee, but upon reading an interview with him in the Guardian, I noted he seemed quite chilled out and open. So open, was Crowe, that he divulged something really weird – Michael Jackson used to prank call him.
I know, nothing is weirder or better than that image. Apparently, Jackson used to call Crowe and say things like ‘Is Mr Wall there? Is Mrs Wall? Are there any Walls? Then how is the roof staying up?!’ PLEASE can we all talk about this? It is no surprise that Michael Jackson, who allegedly loved the company of children and arguably maintained a childlike demeanour himself throughout his life, wanted to play childish pranks on other people – but Russell Crowe? Why Russell Crowe? Gladiator? I may never understand.
Famously beautiful Kit Harrington, who plays Jon Snow in Game of Thrones, has been lamenting his beauty in the press. He has, reportedly, said that being called a ‘hunk’ is demeaning, and not what he got into the business for. You know what’s demeaning, Kit? Buying a Solero on a hot day and being tooted at by approximately 60 cars. It’s a Solero, not your penis. Anyway, poor gorgeous Kit Harrington feels that the way that he looks is getting in the way of his ‘art’.
Of course ‘art’ is subjective, and so on and so forth, but really? Doesn’t it annoy the whole world when people talk like that? Or just me? Dazzling Kit went on to say that he, too, has an ‘inner warrior’, like Jon Snow. Presumably he means the admirable mens’ rights crusader he seems to have become. He’s not the hero we deserve, but he’s the one we need right now. If you care to seek out the interview, do so with a huge pinch of salt, because he comes across a bit… terrible.