Parliamentary Sketch 29th October – Dip me in the water, watch me drown

By Joe Mellor, Deputy Editor

It says a lot about PMQs that a plain grey T-shirt (it looked a bit C & A if I’m honest, if that store even exists anymore) was by far the most interesting event at today’s PMQs.

Harriet Harman, wore a feminist T-shirt following the PM refusal to wear it for a women’s mag feature. “T-shirtgate” (I doubt I’m the first or last “inspired” journalist to come up with that) tweeted a picture of herself in the T-shirt saying “this is what a feminist will look like at prime minister’s questions”.

As if Cameron could have worn it, if he had, I expect Nigel would have been made a freeman of Rochester and Strood that same afternoon. “Green crap,” feminism and compassion are not vote winners these days. Such happy times we live in.

Most MPs would argue that the voters want the issue of immigration to be addressed e.g. we want less of it. In response, the leaders decided to give each other their immigration failings with both barrels. However, these guns were pointing at their own faces. The only winner is Farage.

The opening exchanges between the two middle class white Oxbridge graduates, consisted of bragging about how many immigrants they won’t let into the UK. When listening to the two leaders today, you could be excused for thinking it was two people trying to out racist each other.

Perhaps, in the future we might look back at these exchanges and hold our heads in our hands; like we do when you watch 70’s sitcom Til death do us part. Or maybe we have sent everyone (who can’t prove their lineage to the Domesday Book) back to where they come from. Slight exaggeration perhaps, but we are on the precipice, it could go either way.

However, Miliband did accuse the Tories of callousness, for deciding that it would not support search-and-rescue operations to save refugees in the Mediterranean. In other words state sanctioning of death. Sure I have heard that somewhere before…

Ed was basically ignored, and Cameron used one of his favourite immigration lines; mentioning that Labour had “sent out search parties for immigrants,” conjuring up troubling images of adventurers catching foreigners with nets and dragging them back to blighty. I guess in reality someone called various embassy’s based in London and asked if anyone in their country fancied a job cleaning toilets at Euston station.

In case you missed it here is a flavour of the exchanges today;

“He might want to apologise for the mess that Labour left!” shouted Mr Cameron.

“There’s only one person who should be apologising on immigration, and that’s him!” shouted Mr Miliband.

“I ask him again, get up and apologise for your record!” shouted Mr Cameron.

“Why doesn’t he just admit it, on immigration he has failed!” shouted Mr Miliband.

“What have we heard today? Not a single word of apology!” shouted Mr Cameron.

Impressed? No neither am I. You get the feeling the ship is sinking and there is nobody who can rescue either party; which is exactly how floods of immigrants will be feeling, as they drown trying to cross the Med.

Sycophantic question of the day

None really, but you get the feeling Cameron could win over the voters with a “cut the green crap” T-shirt next week.


C & A, maybe Cameron also come in with a Woolworths pick ‘n’ mix next week and continue the resurgence of the British high street.

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