Farage releases ‘1,000 ways to blame immigrants’ for a guilt-free Christmas

Satire by Jack Peat 

Nigel Farage is set to release a new book entitled ‘1,000 Ways to Blame Immigrants; the must-have guide for a guilt-free Christmas’.

Part funded by the UK Independence Party, the book has been described as the ‘perfect way to fuel your xenophobia this Christmas’ and includes such classics as ‘immigrants clogged the M4’ and ‘a foreigner burnt the roasties’, as well as a pull out pocket guide on ‘how to camouflage your racism’.

Ahead of the release, Farage said: “Life can throw all manner of challenges at you, especially at Christmas. So if your Turkey is dry or you get held up in the pub, don’t blame yourself, blame the immigrants.”

The book was set to be released on Black Friday but was pulled at the last minute because Trinity Mirror publishers were worried it might send the wrong message. But the delayed publication won’t worry the authors after the book received rave reviews.

The Daily Express said “since they caused global walming, tuberculosis and are responsible for 99% of crime in Britan, it’s about time we really let our anguish loose”, blaming the typos on immigrants in a subsequent issue. The Mirror simply led with ‘they could only think of a thousand?’

Farage will be in local book stores for signings all this week, so long as the immigrants don’t cause traffic jams or put leaves on the train tracks.

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