By Joe Mellor, In house Reporter 


Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford Vs Ex Co-op chairman Rev Paul Flowers

Name Rob Ford Paul Flowers
Age 44 63
Location Toronto Bradford
Accusation Drug abuse, sexual misdemeanours Drug abuse, sexual misdemeanours
Drug of Choice Crack cocaine, Cannabis Crack Cocaine, Ketamine, Crystal meth, GHB (allegedly)
Job (Somehow) Mayor of Toronto Ex Co-op chairman, April 2010 – June 2013, gave evidence at the House of Commons Treasury Committee on 6 November.
Previous work experience City councillor since 2000, failed American football player/coach and didn’t complete political science degree. Worked for Natwest for four years in the 1960’s before becoming a Methodist minister. Shoehorned into top Co-op jobMr Flowers stepped down as a councillor in Bradford in 2011 after “adult content” was found on a computer he had used.
Achievements in job On November 15 and 18 2013, motions were passed by Toronto City Council that removed key aspects of Ford’s powers as Mayor.(Ford claims it is a coup d’état and compared his situation with the 1990 invasion of Kuwait, promising “outright war.”) In charge of Co-op bank lost £700 million
Sexual Preference  Hookers (allegedly) Rent boys (allegedly)
Marital status Wife Renata, two children  Openly gay man
Family background His brother Doug Ford, Jr. is currently a Toronto city councillor. Ford’s father Doug Ford, Sr. was also a politicianThe Ford family owns Deco Labels, a multi-national (and multi-million dollar) labelling and printing firm based in Etobicoke. Born in Portsmouth to parents Muriel and Charles but has lived in the North for many years. His father died in 1993 aged 70 and he had a brother, Ian, who died the same year aged just 39. He lives in a modest house in Bradford and shared it with his mother until her death last year aged 85. 


Hobbies Failed football foundation fund raiser. He broke City Council’s Code of Conduct by using official letterhead and other council resources in fund-raising letters for his football foundation From 1992 to 2004 he was prominently involved with the Lifeline Project, which helps drug abusers. Today he remains a trustee of the Terrence Higgins Trust, the HIV/Aids charity.Also scanning lewd images using Government property
Top quotes On accusations he offered oral sex, “I have more than enough at home.” On accusations of crack cocaine use,probably in one of my drunken stupors.” After committing gross indecency with a man in public toilets, “it was at the other man’s instigation.” 

In response to select committee’s questioning his skills to chair a major bank

‘I would judge that experience is out of date in terms of the needs of contemporary banking.”


Other people’s quotes This is one of the most stubborn, pig-headed people I think we have ever seen,” said Councillor Janet Davis.   ‘Disgusted by his hypocrisy’.acquaintance Stuart Davies, 

‘I knew what he did for a living and couldn’t believe how debauched he was,‘ escort Ciaron Dodd, 21.



In conclusion

Paul, to his credit, has given it a good go. His alleged thirst for class A drugs in his twilight years shows a real commitment to illegality. However, Mr Ford still remains in public office and is refusing to listen to his many detractors, even in the face of unrelenting evidence. Reminiscent of legendary Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, who said the Americans “are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks,” the next day Baghdad fell.

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