Parliamentary Sketch

PMQS Sketch 27th January,  A Bunch of Economic Migrants Sponging off State – Google

By Joe Mellor, Deputy Editor

You can swim, march and fight your way to the UK border and then “live” in the jungle, but if you are the Amazon (see what I did there?) you can step right in and plunder our riches.

Tax was issue of the day, well until Cameron decided to be racist/ignorant/heartless/inflammatory (mix and match which ones you think work best).

Corbyn was wondering, along with everyone else in the UK, except the Chancellor, why Google paid 3 per cent tax over the last decade. The Leader of the Opposition also pondered why Osborne needed 25 meetings with the search company’s executives, to arrive at this measly figure. You have to wonder if they mentioned the Chancellor’s luxury family wallpaper business and their own tax arrangements. It seems a whitewash wasn’t only on the freshly prepared walls, of stately homes, in Buckinghamshire.

Corbyn asked a question about “Jeff” and his tax arrangements. Cameron assumed he meant the founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, and said he could just leave a tenner on the mantelpiece on the way out.

Unfortunately “Jeff” was a real person like you or I, so he will have to pay his taxes in full. I do wonder how many self employed people will decide to submit less tax this year, as they believe the system is too unfair.

Most likely they will play by the rules, respect the rule of law and appreciate paying taxes binds society together, no matter how much we hate doing it. It’s a social contract, if we stopped paying, it won’t be long until we are back to throwing our faeces into the streets.

The PM had replied that Labour hadn’t done anything to claim tax back from these types of corporations, when in power, but two wrongs don’t make a right. I would rather work for free than be paid a derisory sum after a 12 hour day. At least you can convince yourself you are not selling out and have found a higher ground, a Nirvana of sorts, albeit one where you are brutally exploited.

Corbyn also snuck in the court’s rejection of the bedroom tax, for a woman who needs a panic room because of her fear of serious domestic violence and a family of a severely disabled child. The Government warm-heartedly will fight these decisions at the high court…charming.

And then it happened; the PM had nowhere to go, and in a tight spot showed his true colours. The truth always comes out when drunk and when on the back foot, your defences have been breached. Cameron said: “Look at the record over the last week

“They met with the unions and they gave them flying pickets.

“They met with the Argentinians and gave them the Falkland islands.

“They met with a bunch of migrants in Calais and they said they could all come to Britain.

And there you had it, like Jack Nicholson at the end of A Few Good Men, he revealed what he really thought of these people queuing up at the border.

We can handle the truth, because we already knew it.

Sycophantic question of the day

More of a bizarre answer, Judith Cummins, Lab, told the PM that people in Bradford had bad teeth, and Cameron replied about queues down the street for a new NHS dentist, as if that was a good thing.



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