Parliamentary Sketch

PMQs Sketch 20th July – Oh Maggie I couldn’t have tried anymore

I wasn’t sure male (and female, they are a broad church these days) Tories would be having naughty urges about May yet, and would have to make do with vivid memories of Thatcher for the time being.

Our new PM stumbled over her words and reminded me of a fussy aunty, when unexpected visitors have turned up, and hadn’t taken her Xanax this morning. When May finally ended the session she blew out her cheeks, relieved that her distant cousins had left and taken their messy Labrador home.

But don’t panic all you Thatcher fans, May had the hair, pearls, handbag and of course the hawkish right wing politics of the Iron Lady on show today.

Let’s be fair it was her first PMQs and it must be a daunting experience. Almost as painful as sitting on the opposition benches and knowing that almost everyone on your side hates you. If May is the nervous auntie, then for Labour MPs, Corbyn is the uncle you had to invite to the party – you wish he would leave, but you know he isn’t no matter how many taxis you call for him.

Corbyn looked lonely with few allies. Dave Anderson, the backbenchers’ backbencher, was sitting beside him and he was flanked on the other side by Diane Abbott. It’s not a criticism, but even he would probably admit he didn’t expect them to be the first names on the team sheet, rather than benchwarmers (boom boom).

Jezza wasn’t actually too bad today, he questioned the appointment of Boris Johnson to Foreign Secretary in view of calling black people “piccaninnies” and describing Obama as “part-Kenyan.” However, as we have seen from yesterday’s cringe worthy press conference with John Kerry, anything Boris has done in the past is irrelevant now; very much the adulterers excuse.

Cameron was simply too polished and slippery for Corbyn, May is of a similar vintage to Corbyn, they both remember the Bay City Rollers, Rising Damp and when there was an actual direct nuclear threat towards the UK.

On that subject, May enthusiastically welcomed the Trident vote on Monday and the 140 Labour MPs who supported her willingness to end the world if necessary. I wonder if the vicar would be pleased about his daughter being happy to blast us all to hell. The glint in her eye told me that the spirit of Maggie had found a new host, sooner than we could have imagined.

Labour dissenter of the day

Jamie Reed, beamed about his whole hearted support for Trident, Labour party policy, leaving the Labour front bench awkwardly looking at their phones or the floor, or hoping a sinkhole might appear and swallow them up.

Sycophantic question of the day

Sir Edward Leigh, Con, who said he agreed with everything May had said, but still managed to have a dig about the EU, but even that didn’t bother May, who was going to “enjoy that for the rest of the day,” delightful.


May to everyone apart from the Scots, Caroline Lucas and the ever dwindling ranks of Corbyn’s shadow cabinet.

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