Parliamentary Sketch

PMQ sketch 24th February – Yo momma is so fat we cut £30 off her disability benefits

By Joe Mellor, Deputy Editor

Your mum jokes are funny, cruel, but funny, however when the two leaders of the main British political parties descend into a “your mum” slanging match during PMQs, you do wonder that it’s a matter of when, not if, the human race destroys itself.

For once Corbyn showed some gumption and attacked the PM on the plight of the NHS and more specifically, junior doctors and their ongoing battle with Jeremy Hunt. It was fierce and lively, but nobody expected it to turn into a slanging match about each others mothers…but it did.

Corbyn went on the offensive and someone on the Labour side shouted out what Cameron’s mother thinks about the state of the health service. I wanted more fight from the opposition, but not that; what next call Samantha a hoe?

Well that was too much for the PM, I half expected him to wag his finger at Corbyn and say “what you say about my momma, girlfriend?” he didn’t, but I know that is what he was channeling inside, when he replied: “My mother would say; put on a proper suit, do up your tie and sing the national anthem.” It was as ghetto as an Old Etonian could ever get, Eazy E-U could be his new rap name.

Corbyn bit back saying: “my mother’s advice to you would have been, stand up for the principles of an NHS free at the point of us,” that is what she dedicated her life to.” Right back atcha, from JAY-SEE. Look, it was the best come back you could expect from a pacifist.

It would have been much better if he had said: “Yo momma’s so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent” Or “Yo mamma is so fat she doesn’t need the internet, because she’s already world wide”. Or even “Cameron yo momma so fat when someone shouted posh they tried to sail in her.” 

After that rap battle ended Cameron claimed that Nye Bevan, the father (original OG?) of the NHS, would have his back on the plans for a seven day NHS service. But Corbyn thought this was a diss to his homie and said: “Bevan would turn in his grave, he was a man with vision, who wanted a health service for the good of all.’ Then he poured out a little liquor onto the chamber floor for all his homies who have passed away in the struggle.

I think it is time to call a truce, before it escalates, look what happened to Biggie and Tupac.

Sycophantic question of the day

Various MPs begged him to pop in for a visit, but the best was Craig Mackinlay, Con, who referred to Ramsgate as the “gem on our doorstep,” not sure if that’s true or whose doorstep he means, but sounds lovely anyway.



Leave a Reply