Parliamentary Sketch

Parliamentary Sketch 6th January – A Comedy of Errors led to The Winter’s Tale affecting more than just a Hamlet

By Joe Mellor, Deputy Editor

Like everyone, I know people I agree with and those I don’t. To weigh up how to interact with them, I always go with the “do you prefer them inside the tent pissing out or outside the tent pissing in”.

Well for Cameron and Corbyn today the choice was taken from them. For Corbyn it was because after a mammoth reshuffle three Shadow Minsters resigned anyway and in Cameron’s case his tent washed away during the floods in Lancashire, Yorkshire, Cumbria etc etc.

During today’s session, you could see the strain the upheaval had taken on Jeremy, he seemed irritable and took it out on Cameron’s abject failure stop the flooding. Maybe a couple of Junior Shadow Ministers should resign every Wednesday around 11ish, to give him some extra bite.

Corbyn called the PM out on various flood prevention schemes that had been canned or severely cut, which had led to the disastrous situation across large swathes of the country. The PM said: “Lessons have been learnt,” which is the equivalent of a normal person sawing off a limb in shame at their error.

The PM said it was the wettest December for 100 years, but isn’t the whole point of flood defences to deal with potentially catastrophic rises in water levels. I don’t build flood defences (who does?) but I assume they are constructed to withstand more than a light drizzle, on a slightly overcast evening, in March; or there is simply no point in them at all.

The PM was treading water during these questions and tried to grab onto a familiar telegraph pole for safety, somehow blaming Corbyn’s proposal to nationalise the railways, to explain why people in Keswick spent xmas day knee deep in river sludge.

Corbyn asked why calls for a cross party initiative to look at the whole issue of flooding had been ignored. Cameron replied saying: “Everyone knows what to do when floods take place,” head for high ground and watch your livelihoods be swept away, seems to be general consensus.

Nadhim Zahawi, Con, briefly took the emphasis away from the floods, to mention that 2016 is the 400th anniversary of William Shakespeare, which allowed the PM to rattle off a few Shakespeare puns, he said the cabinet reshuffle nearly went to the Twelfth night, the revenge is As You Like It, which has turned out to be a comedy Much ado About nothing, but in the end it’s Loves Labour’s Lost.

I disagree it was Comedy of Errors that led to The Winter’s Tale affecting more than just a Hamlet.

Before I go, I’ll leave you with a quote “There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.” Brutus in Julius Caesar, and we all now how that ends, maybe it is better to keep them on the outside of the tent after all.

Sycophantic question of the day

Simon Hart, Con, who said the PM is a big fan of Welsh TV channel S4C, maybe he is, at least he can’t understand it when he gets slagged off on there.


Your bard, a phrase Cameron might also hear in public houses built on flood plains.

Leave a Reply