Cuts to Santa’s tax credit means xmas is cancelled

Santa Claus has been forced to cancel Christmas due to cuts to his tax credit. For the first time in his life he has become a squeezed middle and has been told he will have to tighten his belt.

He said: “After the cuts I can’t afford the fuel needed run my sleigh, and it is taking longer to deliver presents every year, as finding poor doors on new builds is almost impossible.

“It was bad enough last year when they put me on a zero hour contract, but now they have taken away my in work benefits, its become untenable. Then they came for Santa – and there was none left to speak out for me…”

His Conservative voting partner, Mrs Claus said: “To be fair he only works one day, well one evening a year really, he should get on his bike, well sleigh.”

Mr Claus hit back at her: “I have had a second interview to be an Uber driver and Deliveroo said if I can supply my own scooter they will give me a trial shift”.

Conservative party spokesman Randolph Ignatius said: “He has eight animals to feed, but that’s a luxury he can’t afford. Also we deny his claims that he is in fuel poverty, if anything the bedroom tax should make it easier for him because there are less places to hide the presents.”

Amazon and DHL are both bidding for next year’s contract with the Ministry of Presents.

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