Why the world is officially f*cked

I’ve always said that there’s only one thing more important than the prospect of nuclear war on three fronts, and that’s blending your makeup with your boyfriend’s balls.

Yes, according to one of the most widely-read newspapers in the country the new make-up fad that is old ‘balls forehead’ is more of an internet sensation than the prospect of an independent candidate ousting a far-right fanatic to become the youngest president of the seventh-largest economy in the world.

And why pay any attention to a General Election that could give the Conservatives sweeping powers to re-write UK law outside of Europe when there’s a fun poll online over whether “y’all dare” Punkzilla “to use Damon nuts as a beauty blender”.

The poll voted decisively, and the dare was performed garnering a response to the tune of 35,000 retweets and 50,000 likes. So here it is, as punishment, a pair of real-life, actual testicles been rubbed on someone’s face as a beauty blender.

Bad Britain. Bad Britain.

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