It’s time to grow up | Top tips on becoming mature

While it’s possible to be tempted by someone’s physical appearance, money in the bank, job title, social kudos or material items, good people want to be with good people and maturity is an attractive part of any character.

“Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of choice.” 

Edwin Louis Cole

SIGNIFICANT LIFE EVENTS

At 31, there were two significant incidents in my personal and professional lives where I grew in maturity; recognising I was a Dad and realising it was down to me to progress my career.

On both occasions the stem of tears could only stop if I took responsibility. But depending on my previous life choices that maturity may well have developed at an earlier age.

Prior to that, a string of rubbish relationships eventually resulted in the realisation I had to take responsibility to stop the cycle of highs and lows of living through lust and demised expectations.

In hindsight, those relationships were toxic due to neither one of us taking responsibility for one thing or another. Why was that? Most likely due to the fact the truth was not always being told and we were childish in our behaviours, attitudes and actions.

WHO CAN WE TOLERATE?

As we grow in maturity, we also become more or less tolerant when others show a lack of maturity. So while we can tolerate the immaturity of a 4-year-old in a restaurant, we can’t tolerate the immaturity of a 40-year-old in the context of marriage.

Growing in age isn’t the same as growing in maturity. More likely, it’s about when you take responsibility for your actions, behaviours, motives, and emotional inconsistencies that determine how mature you are.

SNEAKY BEAKY…

As a former Response Police Constable and covert operative, I have witnessed the young demonstrate incredible degrees of maturity and the old act with ridiculous immaturity in the same given scenarios and it was about how the individual controlled themselves when making a decision.

In my covert role, I was identifying, forging and managing relationships for the good of society. Those relationships were a business agreement, built around personal lives, in high risk scenarios where immaturity could end in significant harm to one or more.

I had to trust, believe and rely on the maturity of that relationship for the greater good. Age was a factor of my risk assessment but not the only factor and certainly not the only indicator of maturity.

SO, WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN?

So you find yourself in a hole; a broken relationship, a failed business venture or some other scenario that has you climbing the walls. What are you going to do to about it?

  1. Sit tight, sulk and blame others?
  2. Place expectations on faith?
  3. Be limited by fear?
  4. Work on the facts and position yourself for a better future?

Because ultimately, you need to evaluate yourself (not criticise) and act maturely. No matter what your age is, maturity is about taking responsibility for your actions, words and behaviours and being mature is attractive in life and business.

WHAT AREAS OF LIFE DO YOU ACT IMMATURELY?

You may want to ask yourself how maturely you act in the following areas of your life:

  1. Social and family relationships?
  2. Career and educational aspirations?
  3. Money and personal finances?
  4. Physical health, recreation and leisure?
  5. Life’s routine and admin?
  6. Contribution to society?
  7. Mental health, emotional and inner well-being?

Making that evaluation, is a step to taking responsibility for yourself and growing up. Remaining childish, in fear and indecisive is unattractive to those you want to attract in both personal and professional lives; the mature and balanced individuals who make less mistakes and live positivity.

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

The best guys I worked with in high risk environments would always think before they spoke. They knew they how to take responsibility for their actions and expected the same in return. In response to a question, they would pause, you could see the cogs turning, sifting knowledge, analysing facts, validating thoughts and preparing how to communicate a response.

Ultimately, taking full responsibility for every word that came out of their mouth, regardless of age.

Your life is your responsibility and for those guys – perhaps your life was also their responsibility. Put that into context and grow up.

On occasion, we balls up. It’s how we respond that sets us apart. What are you going to do?

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