A motel in the US has banned vegans because “rabbit food” is making them do it like rabbits, according to a new mockumentary.
To help ensure that people have the most romantic Valentine’s Day yet, PETA US has released a new video involving a fictional motel that’s been forced to ban vegans – because of their marathon sex sessions.
A series of “investigative interviews” reveals that the motel manager is fed up with all the moaning and the local maintenance person can’t repair the broken beds fast enough.
One former guest who stayed there last year said: “There was a vegan couple in the next room, and they were just going at it for hours. Well, the next morning, she had left … she needed more. Tell her I love her and I ordered a salad today.”
“The key to a powerhouse performance in the bedroom can be the plants that you put on your plate, which are natural aphrodisiacs,” says PETA Director Elisa Allen. “The cheeky video points out that when it comes to sexual stamina, vegans come out ahead.”
The cholesterol in meat, eggs, and dairy foods contributes to hardening of the arteries and can slow the flow of blood to all the body’s organs – not just the heart. Going vegan has been conclusively linked to a lower risk of suffering from heart disease, strokes, diabetes, obesity, and several types of cancer.
Each person who goes vegan spares nearly 200 animals every year daily suffering and a terrifying death, and PETA offers a free vegan starter kit (available here) full of recipes, tips, and more.
PETA’s motto reads, in part, that “animals are not ours to eat”. For more information, please visit PETA.org.uk.
Motel bans vegans because of their “marathon sex sessions” in this hilarious mockumentary