FIFA’s decision to allow pretty much every country in the world into the 2026 World Cup, has lifted the spirits of Scottish fans desperate to see their team in an international tournament, but not the bookies. Sadly the bookmakers are not as confident and have slashed the odds to exactly...
A group of children who have been living and, mainly, dying in the besieged city of Aleppo have sent messages of hope to London’s commuters, who have been forced to get the bus to work, or indeed stayed at home and are now pretending to work from the pub. Amena,...
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf better know as “Comical Ali” has told the British Government he can’t take the job as NHS spin doctor, as even he couldn’t try and convince the public the NHS hasn’t gone to shit. He said: “Even when there were US tanks behind me as I told...
Theresa May has claimed that the government’s approach to Brexit “isn’t very muddling at all” in a TV interview today. The claim comes after the government’s former ambassador to the EU, Sir Ivan Rogers, criticised the government’s approach in a strongly worded resignation email last week. May said “Look, we...
A, now middle aged, man is able to pinpoint the exact moment he became over the hill, after an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. James Pilchard, 35, was getting dressed when he accidentally tucked his jumper into his jeans, and thought, for a split second, it looked ok, quite smart. Immediately the...
Bob Geldoff is set to cancel his Christmas plans to pen a new track in support of the recently discovered Amazonian tribe who, he fears, might not yet know anything about the birth of Christ. A photographer has recently captured images of an uncontacted tribe on the Brazil/Peru border. Close...
The indigenous people of London are today celebrating as millions of economic migrants return back to their homeland for Christmas. The annual exodus of around 4 million people ensures public transport becomes ‘manageable’, shopping becomes ‘a little bit less hysterical’ and bars become ‘not wholly uncomfortable’. Simon Griffiths, a geezer,...
A miserable twat can’t wait until the first celebrity dies on New Year’s Day so they can write off 2017, and blame their miserable nature on the curse of 2017. David Stevenson, 54, from Scunthorpe, said: “I quite enjoyed 2016, by that I mean I hated it all, but I...
John Powers, 17, a soldier from Barnsley, is annoyed that the government have decided that he is capable of killing for his country, but is now banned from share sexy texts and images with his girlfriend, who lives 200 miles away from the army barracks, until he is 18. John...