Satire

Satire

I thought he said ‘muslin’ ban, reveals May

By Tom Moore Theresa May has today claimed she did not challenge Donald Trump over his controversial travel ban as she thought it was only in relation to a particular type of cotton cloth. May told the commons she thought the controversial president had said ‘muslin’ and not ‘muslim’ and...

Trump reveals UK to pay for border wall

Theresa May has come under increasing pressure today after not only failing to condemn the use of torture and the controversial travel ban, but somehow agreeing to foot the bill for Trump’s proposed Mexican border wall. Tory MPs were warning May not to make too many concessions as she raced...

Trump signs executive order to invade Poland

‘Are we living in Nazi Germany?’ Trump asks his supporters at his latest rally in Nuremberg. The leader of the Blurred Right is still angry about a recently leaked document which he believes came from his own intelligence agencies. Despite heavy criticism Trump stood by his comments, later reiterating his...

Emperor Trump holds first interview for Sith Lord apprentice

Emperor Donald Trump has had a busy week preparing for his first Sith Lord Apprentice interview. Always one for meticulous preparation, the Supreme Chancellor spent the week praising torture, denying inalienable rights to millions of women and destroying the home land of his native nationals. The first candidate to put...

FILE PICTURE - Donald Trump has performed a dramatic U-turn on plans for a new multimillion-pound investment in a Scottish golf resort.  See Centre Press story CPTRUMP. The American billionaire previously suggested he would not invest "another penny" in his Aberdeenshire site unless plans for an offshore wind testing centre were abandoned.  But now, several applications are being submitted to the local council as part of an expansion to the Menie Estate. 18 March 2015

Trump sets out plans to build Mexican mall on border

Donald Trump has set out plans to build a huge shopping centre on the Mexican border to increase bilateral trade between the two countries. Fulfilling an election pledge made to US voters that he would construct a mall as soon as he got into power, the new US president is expected...

Ministry of Truth confirm 100 million attend President’s inauguration

The Ministry of Truth have today put all speculation surrounding President Trump’s inauguration to rest, clearly and ably demonstrating that his attendance was 10 times that of his predecessor. The Ministry of Truth have circulated a memo fixing the misquotations of the previous days and have destroyed any conflicting memes,...

Facebook reveals “activist” mates are actually ski w*ankers

James Tovey, 36, has felt betrayed after he looked through his Facebook feed in January and realised his activist mates are actually ski wankers. He said: “I spent an entire night talking about saving the NHS, and creating a more egalitarian society with one guy, I met at a party....

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