19/08/14 – The London Economic

By Charlotte Hope

Celebrities Throwing Water on Themselves

Remember ‘necknominate’? Remember how terrible that was, and how people kept getting put in hospital and disowned by their friends for being the worst? Yes. So do I. So it’s time to welcome the new craze – the ‘ice bucket challenge’! I think you’ll agree that it’s come at an ideal time given the swelteringly hot Summer we’re experiencing in the UK, with temperatures in the North soaring to 17 degrees celsius. We were all just gagging for a reason to pour icy water all over our bodies. And now we can! In the name of charity!

Celebrities are all over this trend. Ronaldo took the opportunity to do it – in his underwear – then nominate other celebrities/friends. Who did he nominate? Why, his close friends Beyoncé, Jennifer Lopez and Lil Wayne, of course! It’s unclear as yet whether or not Beyoncéis up for a hypothermia inducing shower at the behest of Cristiano Ronaldo. My guess is that she is not, charity or no charity. Other celebrities to embrace this uncomfortable fad are Justin Bieber, Eva Longoria and Chloe Moretz, to name only a few in what seems to be an ever growing number.

 Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence

Yeah, yeah I know. Apparently Chris Martin has wooed Jennifer Lawrence, showering her with presents for her birthday last week. She loves a Brit, doesn’t she? Allegedly, Lawrence and her long-term beau Nicholas Hoult, who has many acclaimed movies under his belt but who I will absolutely always refer to as ‘About a Boy boy’, split earlier this year and she very recently started seeing the Coldplay frontman. E! News broke the story a few days ago and as yet nothing has been confirmed or denied by either party. I sort of hope they don’t bother. Who’s business is it? Not mine.

What I’m enjoying in particular about this story is that so many celebrity news outlets are referring to J Law as ‘pizza eating smoker Jennifer Lawrence’. As though those are the things she is most famous for. Not her Oscar, but her love of cheesy carbs and nicotine. What a legacy. Obviously the purpose of this identity is to separate her from chia seed loving non smoker Gwyneth Paltrow. Chris Martin has found a new suitor, so we must highlight the differences between ex and new. Good luck to the possible new couple. Chris Martin I can take or leave, but Jennifer Lawrence’s media presence has always been very endearing, so I hope they’re happy.

Michael Cera releases an album

Michael Cera, of Arrested Development and Juno fame, has released an indie album. Oh what a little indie darling! It’s free and everything. Of it, Cera says that they’re songs he recorded in his bedroom that he’s had for about 2 years. They’re sweet little songs with a very low production value. Low bordering on none. What did you expect? Get off his back.

Cera is actually quite proficient on the piano, if it’s him playing, and his tremulous vocals reverberate through a few of the songs. A lot of them are instrumental. Whilst doing extensive research and background reading/listening for this column, I put the album on and nearly fell asleep. Is that a good thing? It’s soothing, sure. Then I had a little look at the lyrics of one and promptly woke up. One seems to be about a woman called Ruth (the song is called ‘Ruth’) who has lost her baby. Quite distressing, Michael Cera. There’s also one called ‘Sexy Danger’. We can all agree this is upsetting, particularly if you imagine Cera’s wispy little moustache. If, however, you’re looking for some background music while you potter about your room, this is it. Go forth and listen, and see what you think of his musical offerings.

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