Parliamentary Sketch

PMQs 1st Feb – When I say that somethin’ I want to hold your hand

There was only really one topic, which would dominate today’s session: should Theresa May have catapulted herself across the Atlantic to meet Donald Trump, and beg him to come for a state visit to meet our Liz.

Corbyn demanded to know why May had taken so long to condemn Trump’s travel ban on seven mainly Muslin states.

Also he wondered if May will sell off the NHS to keep Trump happy. Should we really roll out the red carpet to a man who praised torture, has torn up 1952 refugee convention, against climate change action, directly attacked women’s rights (I took this bit literally) and, by the way,1.7 million people have signed a petition to make her cancel the trip.

So would he still be coming? The answer was a resounding yes.

Interestingly Corbyn asked if Trump gave her the heads up about the travel ban. She denied it, and said that we all knew about the ban during his election campaign. This answer nimbly got around whether he reminded her about it, as they strolled hand in hand the previous week.

May recently didn’t admit to knowing about the calamitous nuclear test. You have to wonder if she is dodging/lying (delete as appropriate) to us…again.

On the subject of the travel ban Jonathan Reynolds, Lab, asked why German and Canada had stood up to hate, but she hadn’t. It may well be about maintaining this mythical ”special relationship,” but, as much as they would both hate to admit it, Canada and America’s bonds are surely greater than ours.

May said she believes the UK/US special bond was formed as both countries had fought together during both world wars. Well so did Canada and I haven’t seen Theresa begging Justin Trudeau to take tea with the Queen.

The most hilarious thing I think I have ever heard was from May who sternly said: “the Government doesn’t chase headlines”. Not sure Michael Gove got that memo.

Then May went on the attack and said that if Corbyn had been to see Trump “would he have got a trade deal?” NO! shouted the Tories, “would he have got a commitment to NATO?” NO! they screamed again.

I’m pretty sure he would have got the NATO commitment, and she didn’t actually get a trade deal either, but it gave the Tories a chance to bellow in the chamber, which they always find so rewarding.

To be fair, the misogyny of Trump might not bother all Tory MPs. In the past few days Nicolas Soames (grandson of Winston Churchill – his bust now back pride of place in the Oval office – who was a big fan of Europe, which virtually all Breixteers fail to mention) shouted “Woof Woof” at a female SNP MP. Nicky and “The Donald,” could chat all night long about previous war victories and past sexual conquests, over a brandy, in one of the private bars in the House of Commons.

The furore over Trump’s visit has been deafening; however the Queen has met with the Chinese President, King of Saudi Arabia, Vladimir Putin, Robert Mugabe and Emperor Hirohito, as well as many others who are leaders of nations with dubious human rights records.

As the red carpet was rolled out to the Chinese president in 2015, Tibetan protestors were arrested for waving flags at the Chinese president’s car. Imagine how many people would be arrested for waving amusing placards at the leader of the free world, as he passed down the Mall in his motorcade.

Possibly more worrying was May’s meeting with president Erdogan, who has managed to sack 120,000 police, civil servants and academics and shut down media organisations…May signed a £100m fighter jet deal with Turkey. What a delight!

Apart from the arms sales (they have plenty of their own) if president Trump emulated the Turkish government (he is already giving it a good go) would May still let him in? Of course she would, like someone whose car has broken down in the middle of a desert, she would be pathetically grateful for any help she can get.

Sycophantic question of the day

It was May, to herself, again who appeared to take the credit for the Hillsborough inquest findings, which I’m sure the campaigners in Liverpool whole heartedly agree with.

Winner

Trump. Maybe May can even get the Queen to bow to Donald, to ensure total capitulation to the US President.

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