Top 50 Signs You’re a Competitive Mum – The London Economic
The London Economic

Top 50 Signs You’re a Competitive Mum

By Nathan Lee, TLE Correspondent 

New research has revealed the top 50 signs that you’re a competitive mum.

Queueing up to get the front seats for the school play, always winning the ‘mums race’ on sports day and producing ‘Bake Off’ standard cakes for the fair are just some of the ways competitive mums try to impress, the study found. Other ways mums try to ‘get-one-up’ on the opposition include making sure the children have all the latest technology and gadgets, and owning the biggest, but badly parked, motor in the car park.

Four out of five mums admit they feel incredible pressure to impress their child’s teachers, and as such organise the most amazing presents for the teacher at Christmas, ensure their child reads 10 times a week instead of the recommended five and practice spellings over and over to make sure their child aces every test. And mums who address the teacher by their first name very loudly in the playground to show how well they get on are also pinpointed as those who are trying hard to make a good impression.

In addition, those mums who spends weeks creating and hand-making outfits for nativity plays and fancy dress are considered ‘competitive’, as are those who volunteer for every event going at the school.

The study was conducted to mark the DVD and Blu-ray release of Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey? due for release November 2nd.  A spokesman for Entertainment One said: “Despite mums not wanting to admit they are competitive, the survey findings indicate that they very definitely are!

“Some of the top 50 signs are simply a result of loving mums wanting the very best for their child, which is why they spend hours and hours hand crafting outfits for plays or going over homework.

“Similarly, the desperation and rivalry mums experience when queuing up for the school play is only a result of them wanting to get the very best view of their little one performing, but it does bring to mind the image of mums elbowing each other out of the way and behaving very badly! The fact is that when you become a mother, to a certain degree you automatically become competitive, as you spend so much time comparing your own abilities to those of other parents, and your child’s achievements to their peers.”

Other tell-tale signs of a competitive mum include constantly bragging about the child’s achievements on Facebook or uploading videos of the kids looking particularly cute. Even the way mums dress means they are labelled as competitive – particularly if they look immaculate with well-manicured nails, a perfect mane of hair and impeccable dress sense, or if they turn up to the school gate decked in exercise gear head to toe.

Similarly, the way the children are dressed can point to a mum who cares what other people think, as many judge parents of children who are well turned out in a clean and tidy uniform with school logos and polished shoes, or alternatively, children who have a certain ‘skater’ or ‘hipster’ style.

Four in 10 mothers are even concerned about being the ‘coolest’ mum amongst their children’s friends, and in a bid to win this respect throw amazing parties for events such as Halloween or Christmas. In addition, these mums will invite children round for tea several times a week and when they do come round to visit they are allowed to do whatever they want, such as having water fights, playing with nerf guns and eating anything they fancy.

Being on the school PTA, volunteering for the ‘Friends of the School’ charity and ensuring the children have amazing things to ‘show and tell’ are all signs of a mum who is wary about what others think. And the most competitive mums of all will even check in the book bags of children who come to tea to see what reading or spelling level they are on.

Perhaps oddly, only 15 per cent of mums polled claim they are not competitive at all, and yet six in 10 say it is incredibly important to them that their child always looks the part for school plays, nativity plays and carol concerts. Furthermore, four in 10 admit to spending hours and hours rehearsing their child’s lines and song lyrics with them to make sure they are the best on stage when performing at school.

The spokesman for Nativity 3: Dude, Where’s My Donkey? continues: “Mums seem quite keen to insist they are not competitive, when in reality they are.

“But this competitiveness comes from a good place – straight from the heart.

“Britain’s mums obviously want the very best for their children, and if that means queuing up for the school nativity play, spending 10 hours lovingly embroidering a costume, and reading for an hour every night, they’ll do it.”

Top 50 Signs You’re a Competitive Mum

  1. Parents who queue up for ages before a school play just to get front seats. Every. Single. Time.
  2. They always try to win the ‘mum’s race’ at sports day
  3. Making sure children have all the latest technology and gadgets
  4. They organise the most amazing presents for teachers at Christmas or the end of the year
  5. Constantly bragging about a child’s achievements on Facebook
  6. They have the newest, biggest (badly parked) car
  7. Mums who address the teachers by their first name very loudly in the playground to show how well they get on
  8. Make homemade cakes to hand out to other children on their child’s birthday at school
  9. They produce ‘Bake Off’ standard cakes for the school fair
  10. Mums who spend weeks creating and hand-making outfits for school plays and fancy dress
  11. Throwing amazing parties for events such as Halloween, Easter and Christmas
  12. They raise incredible amounts of money if asked to get sponsorship money for the children
  13. Their children take amazing things in for show and tell, including impressive relatives
  14. The children attend every club going
  15. They quiz other parents on how parent’s evening went
  16. They produce party bags which are more expensive than any gift their child is receiving from a friend
  17. Enrolling the children into extra-curricular classes such as Kumon, computing or music
  18. Mums who are always at the school helping in class
  19. Those who always look immaculate with well-manicured nails, a perfect mane of hair and impeccable dress sense
  20. Being on the PTA
  21. They volunteer for all school trips, school fairs and plays
  22. They check in the book bags for children who come to tea to see what reading / spelling level they are on
  23. Dressing their child in a very styled way (like a skater kid, or hipster)
  24. High flying career mums who STILL manage to make it to all events and plays
  25. Mums who are studying for their PHD while holding down a job and turn up at school looking amazing and cool as cucumber
  26. They turn up for school decked out in exercise gear on their way to / from a run
  27. They house is always perfect
  28. Their children read 10 times a week instead of the recommended 5
  29. They constantly upload videos of their children being cute to Facebook
  30. Going on the best / most exciting or extravagant holidays
  31. Being on the ‘Friends of the School’ Committee
  32. Taking their children skiing, or on other cool and adventurous holidays
  33. They spend hours helping the children with their homework
  34. Their children’s lunchboxes are filled with healthy organic foods
  35. They’re friends with every single mum in the playground
  36. They invite their children’s friends back for tea several times a week
  37. Making a ‘professional’ birthday cake
  38. Looking amazing straight after childbirth
  39. Their children prepare a diary entry about their summer holiday and it is the best ever
  40. They volunteer to read with other people’s children in school time
  41. They initiate coffee mornings and lunches all the time
  42. When inviting children back for tea, they are the ‘coolest’ mum, allowing them to have water fights, eat what they want etc
  43. The children ace every spelling test
  44. They are able to face paint and do so for every school play and occasion
  45. Having the fittest / cleverest / most confident child
  46. Having a child in the play who is extremely talented
  47. Never forgetting to complete school paperwork
  48. Having the time to do the kid’s reading / homework every night
  49. The children are always dressed in tidy, clean uniform with school logos and polished shoes
  50. Always being on time for the school run

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